RECAP - DAY SIX

So Wednesday I went to my Grandparents and stayed with them just because. They were going to come down Friday and bring this remarkably adorable and vintage vanity they bought me on Thursday. So since they were coming all that way I wanted surprise them with something special. I only stayed a night so I could come home and go grocery shopping to make them lunch on Friday! I can decently cook, but I because a vegetarian 4 years ago and never really learned how to cook meat except for chicken which is extremely simple and easy. But I talked to my dad who is an amazing cook and he through the phone taught me how to make pork steak. So I got up at 9am and got a shower and got ready and at 10:30 I started cooking food. Haha I made pork steak, baked potatoes, carrots, green beans, and garlic bread! All by myself! It was actually kind of fun. Everything was just a few minutes from being finished when they arrived. It was kind of perfect. They said it was really good, which made me ecstatic. We got my vanity put in my room with my shoe rack in my closet and the final chair to my dining room table. My apartment is just a little closer to being complete.

My boyfriend and I hung out the the remainder of the day. We rented the Darkest Hour and Tower Heist and just enjoyed each others company. My roommate and my boyfriends roommate (who are dating as well) were over too and even though I usually feel weird in their presences, I actually had a very good time.

However, since I was with my Grandparents or my boyfriend for the past 3 days, I wasn't able to update anything. This morning I weighed 140.6. I've lost an even 2 lbs. I was actually hoping for more, but at least I'm on schedule. My waist lost half an inch. I'm thinking that that is actually because when I first measured it I had eaten breakfast. So maybe I haven't really lost anything off my waist.. who knows.

Anyway, today I've only had coffee to drink and carrots and green beans to eat. I'm going to try to stick to just fruits and vegetables today. No bread or chips or cheese. Just for today. I will gets the carbs I need today through the fruits and the fiber from the veggies and the fruits as well. The coffee is actually reducing my appetite.

I haven't been hungry all day so far. It's 3:24pm and since earlier I've only eaten half an apple. I'm slowly eating it in slices. Even though I wasn't hungry, I was getting shaky earlier. So I needed something on my stomach besides coffee.

I'm at my apartment alone today. My roommate is gone somewhere with her boyfriend and my boyfriend is at work. It's nice having some alone time.

JUST ME - DAY THREE

So both my roommate and my boyfriend goes to work at 1pm today. It will be just me again until later this evening. However, later this evening my boyfriends best friend, who's a pretty good friend of mine, is coming down. I'm pretty excited about it. I get to show him my new apartment and how pretty it is. Plus, since he and his girlfriend will be around I'll feel like less of an outcast. My roommate is cool, don't get me wrong, but her and her boyfriend definitely third wheel me where as my boyfriend's best friend doesn't. I never feel unwelcome by his or my friends from our hometown, but the people here I do sometimes.. Anyway, tonight will be fun I think. I think I'm going to talk to them about possibly having a small quiet party here. I think that will be fun.

I've had a bit of coffee with splenda and light soy milk. The whole cup will be around 10 calories because of the soy milk. I also had a fuji apple and 2 slices of toast. My breakfast came out to be about 250 calories. Kind of high, but better than yesterday and more food for the calories too. I have 900 calories left for the day.

WITH HIM - DAY TWO

My boyfriend and I got into a fight yesterday. He said he was going to a party, mind you in this city I just moved into and don't know really well nor do I know any one (with the exception of my roommate and his roommate), by himself and he didn't invite me nor even hint that he wanted me to go. I've had a really hard time with moving out on my own because I haven't started my job yet, I start the week of the 20th, and school's not in session yet. So I'm stuck here in the apartment not knowing anyone, by myself. All alone. Being obese and alone are my worst fears.. Anyway, he apologized and said he thought I didn't want to go because I didn't know anyone and everything was fixed. Our fight didn't lead to a binge, thank goodness, and we watched a movie and went to bed that night happy. Which I'm very thankful for. Things have been rough between us.

I have a limit of 1150 calories a day. No more. If I gain or lose it may vary a bit. However, right now its 1150 a day. I will weigh myself every other day.

This morning we woke up and ate breakfast… I had a raisin cinnamon bagel with natural honey peanut butter on top. First off, I just want to say.. thank goodness it was not cream cheese because that shit is the devil. Second, the peanut butter was safe and it had no hydrogenated oils, which is trans fat, in it. But.. it was packed with calories.. because all peanut butter is and so are bagels. However, I'm still not hungry. It's kept me full and not wanting food for a while now. I think it was probably around 350 calories. I also had 2 eggs for lunch with coffee. That was about 160 calories.

I had some miso soup before my boyfriend and I went out about the town today. We went to hastings and got the movie the Chronicle. Then we went to the pet shop to play with the animals. After that, we went to a card shop. He and his friends are very much into card games. Haha it's kind of funny because they are all 20 and up. Then we went grocery shopping, which was actually kind of fun. Usually we fight when we go together because he's disorganized and I'm not when it comes to shopping. But all was well. We got home and made dinner then watched a movie. Just the two of us. It's been a really good day. He's been over a lot today which is really nice. I ate 530 calories though plus the 35 calories from the miso soup. That leaves me with 75 calories for the rest of the day. I think we're about to head to the park. Maybe I can get him to just walk around with me. It would put in a little bit of exercise for the day.

A NEW ME - DAY ONE

A short time ago I moved to this new city to attend the college here. It's bigger than what I'm used to, but I'm closer to my boyfriend whom I've been with for almost 2 years. I am 20 years old. I am 5 foot 8 inches at 142.6 pounds. I'm a vegetarian and have been for 4 years now. I've recently stopped drinking milk and eating so much dairy because they just aren't necessary in any diet. I now drink only light soy milk and eat things with cheese in them occasionally. I have red hair that is almost to my waist. I have very large legs, large hips, big arms. I'm just generally fat. I have a roommate. She's a redhead, like me, but of a brighter shade.. She's also tiny. In every way, tiny. Her legs, her arms, she's just so little. All the girls here are like that. They're just so little. I'm not. I've never been, but I will be. I will be. I know I can do this. My goals are set and I'm sticking to them. I have many little goals. I think what I want more than anything is for my thighs to no longer touch. Just one of my thighs are just 4 inches smaller than my waist. My thighs are huge. I want a tiny waist and I want my arms to become thinner, but I know that will happen. I always lose weight from my waist and face first. My boobs never get smaller nor larger with weight loss or gain, my waist gets very small very fast, and my hips and thighs get smaller extremely slow. They are always the last to go. I've been on this up and down battle for years now. I lose, I gain, I lose, I gain. I can't remember a time when I didn't want to be smaller.. Even in the 5th grade I remember, being uninformed as I was, wanting to go to Subway to eat supper instead of the chinese place down the road because I wanted to lose weight. This is day 1. Again. But this is my last day 1. By day 77 I should be there. I will be there. I guess this is the new beginning of my journey to becoming thin, beautiful.. lithe.